i'm leaving on a jet plane... dont know when i'll be there to get back again

I had to rush a trip to mumbai- an emergency. On my way back, i get tkts for a 9 pm flight and get bak in chennai at 6 in the morning- ask me why- they cancelled my flight- ask them why- technical snag. easy isnt that? there is absolutely no way that you can question that now can you? Smart really good looking chaps and young women running around in chic clothes trying to convince you that you will be accomodated on some flight as soon as possible- they talk so easily. I was impressed by their attempt to convince people- making ppl believe that they would do anything for their customers- they literally talk their way out.Absolute lack of value for time- thats what it was.
I pay so much to sit 8 darn hours in the airport and reach home at some godforsaken hour in the morning- frustration, lots of lost sleep and black circles was what i end up with.
What if this was a flight i was taking to make it to an interview, what if this was the flight a doc was taking to perform a crucial operation, what if this was the flight i was taking to see the last of someone.

ack! thats her bedroom!

The Mumbai blasts were probably not covered as much, neither were the Memon's 1993 Mumbai blast case.India brazil's strategic partnership doesn't seem so important. Steve erwin's death, just another day. But Surya and jyothika's engagement, marriage (and probably the honeymoon too very soon!!!) were events which were given multi-angular media coverage! heck! I dint even know that so many angles existed! We live in a strange world!

Yet another story of vendetta. -Vettaiyaadu Vilaiyaadu

Lately all the movies that i have been watching give me this sense of dejavu.. no no- not memories of having been to sathyam before, with the same gang, but of having seen a similar movie before. There it was don avenging his brother's death, here its a serial passionate, disturbed, psychotic and totally dangerous med student killer with a seemingly gay boyfriend with revenge in his blood. That was fully in chennai, this is in new york, and chennai in parts. there it was surya here it was kamal. There surya loses his wife jo, here ...
The movie had some initial hiccups on the production side, when the original producer Kaja Mohiddeen attempted suicide when he went bankrupt but its a smooth sail now.
Kamal is amazing for his age and at the least doesn’t pretend to be 20-something.. Jo, PrakashRaj(amazing tho), misc barely have a part. Cinematography was amazing and the music real good.
BUT the movie is gory, bloody, disgusting at points. Not to forget the abusive language used in every other sentence. Between you and me, we know we do understand the foul language used, that kids way way younger probably understand it all too. That is no reason why it should be rated u/a. Has the country westernised so much as yet? If it really has, i think i'm just a bit too slow for it.

Ps: whats with director Gautam's love for the name Ilamaran????

The "big stars" shining their riches- KANK, an opinion

Ton loads of love, passion and cartloads of tears was what KANK was all about- typically Karan Johar. . One song at the disc, one with the family, rockin n rollin, one with Shahrukh running across a bridge- Rings a bell doesn't it? From the stills the ads n the music, we might get the feeling that we've seen it all previously.
A smitten Abhishek has done a great job .His acting tho good as always, SRK's caricatured expressions n over the top emotions were a little tough to handle. Preity did whatever little her role demanded and Rani, stunningly beautiful has done justice to her part.
Nevertheless ,the movie being different n bold, (i'm not sure if i can call that a hype), the humour sane, the actors classy, the music catchy, its definitely worth a watch.

So..

so whats up. how's it going. tell me. nothing much. you tell me. so what else is up (notice the 'else'). The most probable reply being 'the fan, the ceiling, the sky..duh!!)
If you happen to be a tamilian, add on apram, vera enna, sollu. These happen to be the most common phrases/words in our conversations these days. At the end of the conversation,(which probably is an hour or half of nothingness) you think you know more about the person. You really don't. Makes me think if there really isn't much to talk about or have i just become plain boring??? What i need is a class on 'how to keep your conversations interactive' or something like 'a 1000 ways to make your conversations more creative and useful!'
I love keeping in touch. i love calling up friends and blahing. But what happens if you turn into this old/boring person that you never imagined you'd ever be.

My attempt to keep this blog on par with my life...

This time i really got abused for my lack of verbal enthusiasm, for letting my blog die. Apparently many ppl judge my 'mood for the month' from what i have to say in the blog.. I din't know that and I still fail to understand how!
These last few months have taken its toll on me ( no i haven't become thinner..) . Besides getting to work and shopping for the house, i havent done anything productive. What really bothered me was the monotonous life, a lack of passion for it. I felt 'comfortably numb'. Being unperturbed, somehow led ppl arnd me to believe that i had become so much more mature- a facade. i needed to break free.
Sitting on the sands of bessi, watching kids/couples play in the water, thinking about life, missing my mom, missing her love, missing my friends, feeling older than i should, worrying about the future-Ive had enough.
I looked again. I saw the sun taking its dip. Its hues never fail to excite me. i ran across the sand to join the gang, to make my clothes dirty, to not care, to just have fun. I decided to let me be.

This is really not how i started off with the post- this isnt how i intended to end it either.
Damn my incapability of stringing thoughts together which probably explains the hiatus??

Coffee with ....

and so i met them- at a place not quite right- well it probably would have been right a year back or even 8 months back. - maybe. it isnt now. . i felt 50 here..tho' dressed in my usuals, jeans n a semi-formal shirt, tho' these were friends ive been wanting to talk to for so long a time, all i could concentrate on was if i was dressed inappropriate, if i had grown out of my group, if i had grown out of my age, if i HAD really become old....
last week i met up with some of my college friends-the gang. the guys decided to go to mocha, so yea it was a plan. its one of those places where you'd probably be looked down upon if you decide to go on a scooter or bike rather than a flashy car..(of course guys flaunting girlfriends(and most of their backs!!) are allowed to bring a bike, a popular one with alloy wheels only!) . The place would make u feel either terribly overclothed , extremely poor, or jus plain silly/awkward.
Was talking a whole lot about culture n clothing wasnt i? I jus wanna sink a surface below!!! Maybe there are a bunch trying to imitate. Maybe the kids in the city are jus getting adjusted to the darn heat. Maybe i'm jus growing old. Whatever it maybe this was no definition of fun for me anymore. i'd rather have the environment silent n well, more covered.

Beyond boundaries...

Last Friday i got nominated for a training due the following Tuesday .. i got a mailer with the details. Being the lazy thing that i am, i deleted it presuming that my friends who too got nominated would lead me(from darkness to light???((psstt..onlyy a DAV'ian would understand that)). Anyways come tuesday morning , the minute the trainer started talking, i knew i cudn't sit thru the whole darn thing.. her hello said it all. All i could think of is this- here's another one of those trainers with an affected accent, trying to convince us that the US of A is one of the best countries in the world!! i needed to run away!.
well, having no other choice i sat through the class presuming that id be listening to what the US people are all about - their hierarchy, their culture,values... and how we in India are not all of that.
Through the course of the day, as i grew to know her better, she seemed really nice, educated in very many cultures-really a third culture kid! i hit myself hard for having convinced myself that her accent was fake. i also did get to listen to all of the USA values thingy, but what surprised me was the way she made us realise how much our culture affected our thoughts and ideas and ...well jus everything !! -made me realise that we were really the most versatile country, adapting (and thats not imitating) so as to be a part of the global village- made me realise how different we really are, in a way that made me so proud...that was one day spent usefully. thanks sushma.

To unlearn is to learn

the elections and its madness!

the iims are dream - ive either gotta study, grow smarter and crack the cat or ive gotta change my caste???!!!

don't walk under that ladder!!

Itchy ear, someone's talking about you; itchy right palm, you'll meet someone new;itchy left palm, money's coming ur way..It's bad luck to have a black cat cross your path...
superstition n me? nah ..modern thoughts, broader sense of thinking, wider perspectives. I have no place in my head for superstition- Those who choose to believe, find their world delivering what they expect.... and those who don't, (like me!!)are not affected... that was in reply to one of my friends asking me if i believed in "superstition"..It hardly affects the tangibles i need!!....those in the know would know and would have most definitely explained to this person that I always use the pen that my dad bought me when i was in class 5 and i'll cry if i ever lose it.. i always wear my blue kurta on the days i have a presentation to make and of late i've been terming the days that i don't wear my favourite ring as a 'bad day' - ask me. i'll still say -superstition?... nah, that's jus me categorizing things as lucky n not-so-lucky!:D

relativity and pressure

It was the first ever saturday in the 6 months of my so-called 'working' life that i decided to actually get to work- nope this sudden urge to work on a weekend was no by-product of peer pressure, merely that of friday evening's laziness..my work's always been timed comfortably, flexibly too. never had rush hours. i have an awesome gang there and not to forget really awesome senior collegues .but this was my 'everyday' and my everyday,was not something i ever contemplated about anyday until yesterday.. until yesterday when i met someone who seemed a wee bit more than jus tortured, who actually worked on a saturday cos he had deadlines to meet. for one, i felt amazingly useless!! I realised my happiness was challenged on such relative terms. relativity, damn you! ... maybe i really need to think of what i have actually achieved being where i am now- but then again, if i rationalise on the happenings of the past, how am i gonna end up? happy ?depressed ?philosophical?--am i happy having this easy life or am i frustrated abt it?? confused..

To see the world in a grain of sand, and to see heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour. -Blake

the olfactory and my music..

so many things happening. so fast. i cant comprehend. i miss out . i miss them. friends. college. my sister. an easy life.me..silly things remind me of how life cudve been. places where ive once been. our senses are strong. memories kill. i listen to that one song, that familiar aroma, i get transported. feels heavy. i feel butterflies.life's a monotony. i can sense this deja vu. everything comes back to me. i regret, i learn. is it good ? not? im not really sure. good things fade faster? funny. it doesnt depress me. im tuned. new doors opening, but somethings dont change. ..listening to that one song makes my heart race. walking by the beach will always ease things out.sleeping in my mum's lap will always make me happy. somethings are just meant to be.
too many books on philosophy . thats what it is.

OMG - the www rocks.. wikipedia rules.. check this out!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madras_bashai

i walked into the room with a jaunty swagger that would probably have done credit to a General. - the pride of being an engineer(forgetting the fact that millions , inc everyone else in the room were too ), the pride of " ha! what could a communication, softskills training instill anything new in me" .. but at the end of the day i realised how little i knew. , i realised i dint know what my company revenues are like, who my client really is, what my client actually pays for me as an employee.i realised my goals werent streamlined enough, i dont have a time chart, accounts for my expenditure... i am not even inspired to achieve what i dream - sheltered in ambiguity, i walked out of the room tired, beat - apalled.

January 26,1950 was chosen as the day when India would finally arrive as a nation, complete with the lengthiest and the most detailed constitution in the world......yea so it was the indian republic day... to millions, a holiday, a break from that stressful day at work- and for many a chance to watch TV all day long cos there are'republic day special' programmes . i'd say c'mon.. we all prob know what asin and Surya n jo aspire to be and dream about better than our own dream. its really sad . sometimes i think about it, but writing this blog makes me no different...

we know, we know,we know ---what do we do with what we know? we only draw a shade between us and our knowledge..

sad dont u say?

i was so tired beat and exhausted last eve and if ive failed to mention it earlier, i get so bored once too often. i stepped outta the house to get some fresh air, to bring up the spirits of my vitiated soul(ha!). anyways, basically i love walking . i can walk miles on end with or without company, jus enjoying it all..the boat club road or the road alongside the theosophical society, or on the sands of our elliots beach - wherever it mite be. the calm exhilaration of the evening gives me an unaccustomed peace of mind, a contentment with the things, they way they are.- the bottomline- i feel happy, i feel sane in this mad world.

Makar sankranthi wishes to all n pongal wishes to my fellow tamilians. Capricorn transition is what makar sankranthi literally means by the way. Ask me what i did the entire weekend..Nothing nothing at all.. sat on my dad's easy chair and watched every darn movie on TV. . ive shamelessly watched many many if not all of rajini's movies 'n' times and watched arunachalam for the, i dono how many'th time today. Besides being filled with masala, his movies have something that never fail to amuse me, amaze me. Sitting around, never getting my hands dirty doing real work, i somehow bestow upon myself the privlege to comment on these actors whenever i watch a movie and make it sound o-so-polish by calling it a review. (chk out my prev blog on kandanaal mudhal) .. that reminds me, i still dint get my hands on that ticket to watch evam's new play :(

life has its own bizarre ways of letting u realise who you are. so many things happening - a mile a minute seems too fast for me to comprehend. when i dont do stuff presuming things will sort themselves out, they bcome messier, when i do something, i mess things up for me. do u see a deadlock here?
im jus gonna call that funny. but hey im not gonna let u get away.. im gonna make sure things work out the way i want them too, the way it should, even if it means WAR.
sat eve i was up watching gone with the wind.. reinstated my belief that beautiful books dont have to necessarily make awhsum movies..
jus re-read my last coupla posts, have been on a philosophical roll havent i?

'sorry your name does not appear in the list of short listed candidates....' seein that 6 times each year has become something of a routine. for those of u who cant seem to relate to these 'golden' words, i pressume ur amongst the lot who're not acquainted to the 'CAT' or are ppl(well i dont consider them normal ppl..yet!) who aced the the same...Ive been so caught up with my life n work n certifications that i barely gave the CAT more than a moment's thought this year.. and when i was done with i had absolutely no expectations. yet when the results force themselves upon you, when u see the darn page, there is this pang of dissapointment... makes me feel so darn dumb.. do html tags or jsp's have that capability???(yes!!!! i,m a software techie!!!)

when you face life as it comes, when u move on, you never realise it.. its at those times that i always think'man.. people change so much'..they prob do too.. ppl fall out of love , you lose lustre, the stone they sculpted you out of is not the same..
being this sentimental fool, i break down whenever i have to face changes.. tears are something i never run short of. . this is who i am ..that annoys me..it runs thru like a movie in my head.. all the time....
well the point of this conversation being, i want to grow up.. to learn to be more versatile than arch,the not-so-living..learn from other people's life and mistakes- thats my new years resolution.